Personal Goals are About More than Just You!
By Kenny Hayes - O2X Lead Instructor
One week out and I'm finally putting words on the paper. For me, nothing new when faced with any task or assignment. Deadlines are important, especially if procrastination is a preferred tactic. I’m attempting to explain how goal setting and time management works for me.
The four major goals I have made for myself over the last ten years have all coincided with a certain stage of my personal life. Luckily, each goal I did set eventually came to fruition. However, maybe luck played no role in any of it. Could it be the old adage of “if you put your mind to it - you can do anything” actually works? I like to take it a step further, and basically tell anyone who will listen what my goals are. Holding myself accountable and putting myself out there has held true for me, especially in the last decade. Milestone points in my life may have framed each of my goals, but regardless, it’s all about the work you have to put in.
The first major goal I set for myself centered around my family. My children were growing and the financial needs of my family increased as well. I decided to commit to studying for promotion. The time commitment was roughly one year, and equated to nearly 1000 hours of studying. The plan was successful and the time away from my family did pay off. The time sacrifice was worth my family’s investment, because many of these goals affect so many others.You must understand that your personal goal is about more than just you! This point is significant when it comes to support and the ability to find the balance required for your endeavor.
The second goal I committed to was similar to my first but resulted from a desire for more professional growth. I had already been in a supervisory role for a few years and wanted to continue down that path.The same commitment for studying and time away from family was identical to before. The personal side of this was less burdensome for my family. They understood already that these sacrifices would pay off for all of us. My family knew this was a team effort from the start, and together the goal was attained.
All of us have faced or will face the inevitable loss of a loved one. A couple of years ago my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic, and eventually liver cancer.His courageous battle was short lived unfortunately. His last few weeks with us were not wasted. Home hospice care allowed our family to maximize the short time he had left. I will never forget that last month sitting beside him, reflecting about what was really important in my life. My health had taken a bit of a backseat during this time. I had noticed a change in my look, as well as a change in how I felt. I always appeared “in shape” but personally I knew I wasn’t. Once my father had passed it was apparent to me that I needed another challenge and goal to jumpstart the second half of my life.
On my first day back to work following my father’s death, I happened to be working the sidelines of the Boston Marathon. As I watched the runners pass me by that day, I felt envious of their incredible accomplishments. I was jealous actually, and was done feeling sorry for myself. I looked at a coworker with me and said “I’m running next year!” As soon as I finished saying it, I could actually feel excitement and joy inside. On my way home from work that day I told my wife my crazy idea, and she was initially not pleased. My wife thought it may be too lofty of a goal considering how farfetched it seemed at that point. She also didn’t like the idea of me telling everyone I was doing it, but I couldn’t have disagreed more. I knew if I put myself out there and vocalized my goal then I would have to stick to it. I quickly determined the time commitment from both me and my family was the same as studying for promotion.I should make clear that at this point in my life I hated running. I was starting at the bottom. My first few runs were eye opening and pretty awful. I struggled running just a couple miles, but slowly I improved each day. The “one day at a time” approach paid off. Roughly one year later I was ready for the marathon. I was in the best shape of my life at 50 years old. I dedicated that goal to my father, but it again was a team effort. My family experienced all the joy and pain leading up to the finish line that day. I will forever be grateful for that stage of my life after my father’s passing. It reshaped my focus to what was really important in life and set the stage for my next goal.
I can’t stress enough that sharing your goals with others not only holds you accountable, but maybe helps manifest it to actually happen. After nearly a quarter of a century (sounds awesome when framed like that) in my profession I was ready for a new challenge.I wanted to finish my career sharing the passion I had for the job with others. My department’s training academy would eventually have a vacancy in the role I had long desired. Everyone on my job knew I wanted it, because over the last three years I had pretty much told anyone who would listen. The position was an appointed role, rather than based on time in rank. Although I may have had the experience and resume to fill the position it was out of my hands. I believe in the end I did get the position on merit. I also believe that vocalizing my goal of getting it may have helped as well. My point is don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, and let it be known what you really want. I know if I didn’t pronounce my goals I would forever second guess myself. Life is too short for regrets!
About O2X Lead Instructor Kenny Hayes:
Kenny Hayes is an O2X Lead Instructor and currently serves as Drillmaster of the Boston Fire Department Training Academy. He is a native of Boston and a proud Navy veteran. His 27 years of service to the citizens of Boston have always been on the busiest fire companies in the city. Kenny’s recent assignment has allowed him to focus on his passion - teaching and instructing the next generation of firefighters. Kenny also serves as an IAFF Fireground Survival Master Instructor where he travels all over North America passing on critical survival techniques and skills.Kenny has been married nearly 25 years and has 2 beautiful daughters, ages 18 and 21.